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|steppingstones (profile) wrote, |
on 9-19-2018 at 9:52pm
|Current mood: exhausted
Subject: Hot Ones Party energized and present
|I'm actively behind the scenes directing myself away from the things I want to do that will help me get better and grow. Sure, reading when Macy is on the computers happens easier but a number of times it's hard to switch to the more difficult books with some excuse or another.
I've also, yet again, forgotten tricks and things I had learned along the way. Like the ability to pause the tv and do something. Or quit the tv and do something. Now the tv pull is so strong. Maybe strong just enoug to override the growing strength and desire to do other things.
I think I'm afraid to get better. I know I have a lot of concerns and fears about what I will lose as I change functionality. The way things felt when I was dissociated and stuff. But to be fair I kind of got that back this weekend with the little more control and letting loose into that area of feeling...
The hot ones party! I want to talk about the party!