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|steppingstones (profile) wrote, |
on 10-9-2018 at 10:18pm
|I've had a realization.
I think I know now why sometimes people want comfort instead of problem solving.
I always want problem solving.
If I haven't already solved it then I don't see the right angle and I require input from other people to reach it.
I've never received comfort from someone when I'm hurting.
When things are shitty and wrong.
I've been abused. And then left to cry and die inside.
And sometimes there's this twisted comfort when she comes back and apologizes and cries and tries to hold me all contorted and rough.
But what would it be like to have a hug?
Sometimes people have tried and it hurts. It feels very uncomfortable. It makes it worse. I freeze. I don't know how to reply.
I feel I have to do something for them to make them feel better.
A solution has always been better.
But I think now...a hug might be nice first.
Pacify the emotions in a loving and healthy way and then think about the problem.
That makes sense now.
Maybe I'm not a robot after all.