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steppingstones (profile) wrote,
on 11-6-2018 at 7:36pm
Subject: I Keep Myself Like This P1
I complain about being how I am and feeling like I feel. But I keep myself this way. And I know I'm doing it. I know I'm choosing to stay this way. What a hypocrite! How fake and weak is that?

It's comforting.
It's all I've ever known.

What if I fail?
There's a lot of truth in that.

How do I relearn how to do everything?
It will be simple when things are simple. I'll just know.
Won't I?

It's heavy. A thick blanket. A weighted blanket. And a fog. A brain fog.

There's that spot right in the middle that I can't see. I can star at it and my eyes shift off. They can't focus. It's like my eyesight is Frankenstein's together. Seams where pieces are patched together but don't fit exactly right.

Garrett say's he'll skype with me now so I've found yet another way to avoid writing. Though he'll get off to nanowrimo so maybe I can make myself write more after.

I was getting to some good stuff.
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