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|kit_Katt (profile) wrote, |
on 3-18-2003 at 9:45pm
|Current mood: Frustrated with a hint of confusion, in a bouncy s
Music: I hope you dance-LeeAnn Wolmack
Subject: I wish I knew....
|I am happy.
Yeah, I can honestly say that. But there is still something in the back of my mind, nagging. I hate naggings. Because I usally know Who's nagging, and He doesn't leave me alone.
"But Lord, what can I say to her? She doesn't even want me anymore."
"Trust me." He says back.
"How can I approach it, she ignored me before."
"Trust me." He replies.
Grrr, I try, I tried, but I still don't know what to say. Everything seems wrong, accusing. Should I just email her that past entry? No, then it would seem like I am just digging up the past, but then, it did have a lot of good points in it, but then, Nick just thought I was kicking him when he was down. *Sigh* Why do I always have to feel like I have to change things? Why do I feel like I can't tell her that I almost cried when I hugged Jackie on Friday night because I was so happy to see her? Why am I so afraid Connie will be upset with me if I tell her that I can't be her best friend anymore because it stresses me to greatly? That I feel I can't be a Christian around her? Why can't she listen, instead of doing her own way, all the time?
"Trust Me." God says. And I will, but I am not Connie's jester anymore. I'm sorry, I really am. *turns and walks away with tears in eyes*.
I wish I was a Jesus Girl.
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