Anonymous wrote,
on 12-21-04 at 12:31am
hey..you'll probably never read this. because it's december of 04...more than 2 full years after you wrote it. but i just wanted to say..i remember this day. and i remember all of the feelings i had and every little thing. i remember what it used to be like...i remember what everybody used to act like and their little habits. and i miss it; all of it. all of them. all of us. who are we now? barely any of me is the same person i used to be-only my heart, which i suppose is all that matters, but you know, i don't think there's one person who cares about what's in my heart. or anyone else's heart, for that matter. i remember who you used to be. and i think of who you are now. and i imagine only your heart is the same too, but i can't really say that, since i'm not you. but think of how much has changed in the past two years. i remember how we used to talk and react and the thoughts we'd exchange...none of that goes on anymore. idk, sometimes i feel like i should be writing a history of what's all happened, but then, i'm pretty sure i couldn't remember the little details, and those are the things that really matter. it all seems like it was yesterday though, and that makes me want to cry. we were so naive, of course we still are, but we were so young, we didn't think. but you know? i'd give anything to go back to those days and experience them again-just for a day. but i mean the two times we were probably the closest-the beginning (8th grade) and the end (this summer), even weren't anything alike. our "group" has changed so much-i don't even think that we're in the same group anymore. actually i know we aren't. except at heart. it started out so...perfectly, but people change, and sure, the group could have stayed together, but the people wouldn't be the same, so it wouldn't be the same group. but all in all, i don't regret any of it. and even though i don't spend much of my time with you-in theory, all of my time is spent with you. in 8th grade you were there, summer before 9th grade, you were there, 9th grade, you were there, this summer, you were there, this year, you're here. we rarely talk, but still, you're here. it's the one thing that hasn't changed in my life, yet it's the one thing that's grown and changed so much. but i guess, if i look at it that way, it's a blessing in disguise. blessings in disguise work for me...the only sad thing is...someday i'll be walking down the street in some city, and i'll walk past an old friend, one from 8th grade, maybe, and i won't recognize them, even though they're in my head, and the feelings i experience when i was with them were/are real, the physical person won't be real to me anymore because they are part of the past. wow. i don't even know what this comment is about, but i just wanted you to know that. all of it. because, i have a feeling i should be saying this to you. i'm not really sure why. wow wouldn't that be ironic if i died tomorrow? i know i won't, but hey, life is crazy sometimes. thanks for being here.
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