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lp13a13ex54x (profile) wrote,
on 7-2-2003 at 10:28pm
Current mood: lonely
Music: Cold~Cure My Tragedy
Subject: much drama
well its about 9:30 and i just got back from being outside down the street hangin out with lev and josh. josh said that bryan was over the other day at his house but he didnt even bother to come by and say interesting. that was nice to hear..only not really. whatever. then i got to talking with josh and hes alot different than i thought. we just talked alot about relationships and that sort..and he told me about his relationship with julie and i talked to him about me and ray, it was pretty neat overall. hes a really easy person to talk with. =)

alright...the really big thing that happened today was talking with **** earlier...oh boy. well, he imed me and he said that i mean alot to him..and that i always have. and he thinks the reason that hes been kind of an asshole to me lately was because he has "such strong feelings for me and that it kinda scares him. that he cant just break up with ashley but when that day comes..he hopes that we can TRY to have a relationship with eachother again" ...well he told me alot more..and i had alot to think about. i told renee about all of that and she asked me what i would do. well all im saying is that i love ray so much. and yeah, me and **** have so damn much in the past..but for now thats all it is..the past. ray is all i see for the the future right now. ill always love ****..i cant do anything about that except to just..not....and thats really hard and i dont think i can do it. maybe in the future if me and ray split up...maybe something can develop between us again. but i just want to focus on whats keeping me happy right now...and i think im actually doing the right thing for once. as for ****..i hope him and her last a while..he seems happy with her..even though i know what he said to me earlier today..well just have to see what happeneds. but i have a little more faith in myself this time..and i think everyone else should too. g'night guys! gonna go talk to erin and the rest of the happy bunch! love steph

remember all the times that we used to play
you were lost and i would save you
i dont think those feelings will ever fade
you were born apart of me
i was never good at hiding anything
my thoughts break me
do you undersatnd what you mean to me
you are my faith
wont you cure my tragedy
wont you cure my tragedy
if you made the world a stage for me
then i hope that you can here me scream
every little thing that i ever did
you would stand by me
ever time you cried it would take my wind
my heart would break
if i could be strong like you would for me
you are my faith
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