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|_iggy_ (profile) wrote, |
on 11-13-2003 at 7:54pm
|Current mood: BLANK!!!!
Music: the other side - smile empty soul
|well, i talked to my brother again today. he wants to move out here really bad but he says that he is afraid that it will hurt my dads feelings. i dont believe him though. i think that he is afriad that dad will get mad at him(and i dont see why he wouldnt wanna hurt dad anyways... i mean, how many times has Dad HURT us???). after i talked to my brother, i talked to my step mom. her and i havent talked for a long time because of one of the many problems that i have had with my dad. she asked if i really like it out here... i obviously said yes, but for the wrong reason. i told her that life was great even though i really dont know how life is. what is a great life? anyways, i got done talking to her and i started to talk to my brother again and he said that i had to talk to Dad. i said no and that if he put my dad on the phone that i would hang up. i really want nothing to do with my dad, i love him cuz hes Dad, but i hate everything he is. so i guess that he is gonna send me a letter. i swear to God that if he sends a letter about how he was right and that i should apologize, i am gonna kill him!!! when i fly out to michigan this winter i dont even plan on visiting him... i will hangout with my step mom and my brother but not if he is gonna be anywhere around me. anyways... i got off the phone and thats when the drama really started. my mom asked me why i personally wanted my bro to move back.... i told her that it was because i felt isolated from ppl my age. she was like "but you have a lot of friends. why dont you ever go to their house or have them come over here?". i said that i dont want to go anywhere or have anyone come over. she asked me why and i said that i dont wanna make REALLY good friends with anyone out here... She asked if i said that cuz i dont wanna betray my friendship with errca. i said "no, cuz errca told me to find someone to be able to tell everything to when i wasnt able to talk to her about stuff." my mom says that there is a reason why i am practically deciding not to make close/best friends with ppl. and i know what the reason is... its the same reason why i was afraid to go out with ryan... its the same reason why austen and i arent that great of friends anymore... the reason was created by my dad. and now that makes me hate him a little more. the Reason will never be healed... it'll continue to make be the way that i am towards other ppl. i guess that there is really nothing that i can do except for keep pretending.|
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welll wow crazy i never new like any of how you felter anything wow thats like really suckie but on the other hand well theres really nothin to put in the other hand. well at least you all keep in touch you know but im sure you make the right choices and all but yeah there are a lot of ppl out here that love you soooo much and one mainly me and that will never ever change so dont be so hard on yourself and everything cause you know it aint ur fault but ill do my best to try and help you out as much as possible well love you lots lots and even more lots ;)
Hey girl!! Whats up?? I just wanna tell you that your right what your dad was wrong and there is no forgiving him for what he did, and its not your fault at all, but the wonds will heal over time don't shut ppl out though it will only make it worse, you need friends and family to help you get through tuff times Erica and I are here for you but you also need ppl there to talk to your not replacing anyone and Erica knos that we love you with all our hearts
Re:, 11-13-03 11:13pm
sorry spelled sum things wrong but you no what i mean
hey chic...its ok that you spelt some things wrong. i do all of the time. i know that what my dad did was wrong, but i just dont know how to really deal with everything right now. but i am glad that i have you and erica to turn to... you guys are great and i love you!
One of the most important lessons I have learned is to pretend... fake people out. That way, they don't know who you truly are (if you wanted to originally have them find out, then it's too bad) until it is too late.
Andrea... you are my best friend.... and we both kno nothing is ever gonna change that. and if you need someone out there to talk to...find someone to talk to... cuz i cant be there for you all the time like i used to be, and that sux. but there isnt much we can do about it now except keep in touch and know that nothing is ever gonna keep us apart forever... and things will be back to normal soon. i love you sis... take it easy ok
you are my best friend too... and i agree that NOTHING will ever come between that. i usually try to get ahold of you for my problems before i go to anybody else. i am looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks!!! its gonna be awesome!!! have you came up with any new 'moves' for our song???
hey babe whats up so i alredy replied to this one so i just thought to leave you a little note sayin........... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..I love you soooo much;)
i know that you already replyed... but you can reply more... heheh.