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time (profile) wrote,
on 11-15-2003 at 6:24pm
Current mood: anxious
Music: -silence-
Subject: watching
I had that feeling again that someone was watching me. It really creeped me out. actually I have that feeling again. Ever since that big storm two nights ago I've been feeling so afraid. I don't know whats happening. I had a strange dream last night. In my dream some one is in my room. Its two guys about my age. They are wearing capes so I can't see there faces. They tell me that eveything is ok and to not be afraid, but I am. They tell me to get dressed and put the wormest clothes on two of everything. They say because were going somewhere far away and it might get cold. For some reason I have feeling that where there taking me is where I belong. It really scares me. I don't wanna leave but in my dream I know that I must. They don't have a gun to my head or anything. They hand me a back pack and tell me to take only my most preciouse things. They worn me not to take much cause im gonna have to carrying it by myself. I grab two pairs of pants, 5 shirts rolles up ( im wearing two shirts already), a couple of undies,socks, bras, my brush, my favorite book, a notebook and a pencil, and a small photo album with a couple of pictures of my family and friends. I also grab my favorite stuffed animal which is a panda. I ask them if i can bring my dog, Gigi. They hesitate for a moment then say yes. I also grab this dog blanket thing that she can wear that ties around her body. I put on my turtle neck sweater and then my hoddie. I slip on gloves, a scarfe, and a beanie. I put on two pairs of socks and my black convers. They say Im gonna need better shoes. I tell them that these are the only ones I have. They tell me its ok that we can get better ones later. I slip on my best friends necklace and it slids in place with the one i already have on. Which is a stone that looks like it came from the moon on a silver chain. I pick up my dog and tell them Im ready to go. They ask me if I'd like to say goodbye to anyone. I say no it doesn't matter cause I'm ther foster child and I don't know them. They tell me they already knew that. I ask them if I should leave a note so they wont worry. They said someone will tell them where I'm going. I ask them where am I going. They say all in good time. I wak with them out my window and onto the balcony. I whisper good bye. As they help me down the ladder I suddenly wake up. Im laying in my bed like nothing happened exvept I'm cold like I just been outside even though I'm wrapped in a dozen blankets.
I don't know what this dream means. I kinda wish it was realy cause I don't want to stay here. Its not that I don't like the people I'm staying with. Actually I'm pretty lucky because there very nice and they said I could keep Gigi and they even bought her good name brand food, Puppy Chow. Gigi loves it here. Ther have there own dogs that are old, humongus labradores. Its nice. The only thing that bothers me is that it smells of old. Mr. and Mrs Johnson (the people taking care of me) are old and strange. All they ask of me is to not be to loud and not leave a mess. Mrs. Johnson makes deliciouse food, and Mr. Johnson tells great war stories. They can't have children so they've been taking in foster children ever since they were married. I like them alot but I don't think I could ever love them. I don't think I could ever love anyone. I have the feeling again that someone is watching me. Mrs. Johnson just yelled up that dinner is ready. Thats another rule, we always eat dinner together, I like that. I also like this computer they said I can do whatever I want on it cause they don't know how to use it, its for the children. Im the only child here for now which is nice. It smells like lasagnia, I better go.
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