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desiredrelease (profile) wrote,
on 12-12-2003 at 8:11am
Current mood: confused
Music: the beautiful mistake, on building
Subject: I never said I'd prove it, I only said I'd show it I gave you my all, but you wanted more. Lost on the inside, filling up the score. I remember playing that one. It's stuck in my head. Over and Over.
its begining to become odd :/

this morning, for instance, i was with an old friend and i saw someone, someone i would normally have gone running over to but i didnt... i really dont want the populace to read this and make their lousy opinions, but i need to write this out so i can look over it myself and make my own judgements...

of course the comments of others are taken into perspective, but they dont know... it always seems the person least involved has the most honest answer of what should have been, that would be sami in this anecdote, i was telling her of the recent on-goings and she said i was wrong, that i should have gone with the original instinct rather then second guessed, too late for that now, curiously enough she hasnt the slightest clue in how i feel but she can always predict the outcome, according to her i was wrong, according to others i was right, according to me... ahh well i dont know, i think it was wrong

it was wrong there is no reason i should have, nothing can come of my decision, but then again... i might only be feeling this way because of other things, after a dialogue it will not be this way anymore, but there never will be a dialogue, there hasnt been, therefore wont be

am i too pessimistic?
the girl next to me is looking up christmas lyrics continuously singing frosty the snowman and becoming upset due to frosty always with a carrot nose not a corncob pipe... she seems to be in the christmas spirit, should i be? that glass seems to be half empty this morning, maybe later on it will be half full, It doesnt matter if the cup is half full or half empty, whatever is inside, it is evaporating either way...maybe this is all because i wasnt allowed to get my hot chocolate this morning.. if only i could put the blame on that

i understand that most dont prefer longer entries, the mood for which i am in

*Belief and experience will produce truth regardless of the order they come in*

*Virtue is one thing that doesn't seem to become worth more when less is in circulation*

*Rash decisions bleed consequences*

<3 yes.. pessimistic
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