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|desiredrelease (profile) wrote, |
on 1-4-2004 at 2:33am
|Current mood: confused, to say the least
Music: finch, new beginnings
Subject: i try so hard to figure out why no explanation keeps me waiting, lets try because i know you won't forget, i know even if the story is over but did you wanna listen, you took the world with you...
|i guess a lot has occured since i last updated this journal...
it may has seemed that maria and i were destined to be at each others throats perpetually, but after i received the news of the recent death of her grandfather, whom i pressume she was very close to, i finally noticed that i wouldnt be able to not be friends with her, we were too close of friends since day one, and something of this sort shouldnt have pulled us apart, though im kinda glad it did, it made me realize that we beyond belief, did have a strong friendship that couldnt be terminated with one immature act, which i am deeply sorry for :(
furthermore, my reason for updating is due to the many things on my mind, of course nothing has been finalized and i suspect wont for several days, which is the culprut for the mood posted above, i am not going to go into detail, because my standpoint will have changed as the inconstant moon sets tonight, the beginning of a new day will bring new thoughts, directly related to the song listed above as well... another reason for not exposing what has just happened is that im not quiet sure what happened myself, or how i am to perceive it, or what will become of it, if nothing does happen after this occurence, i dont want to regret typing anything in here that may lead differently
although im not one to regret anything, i have no regrets to date, and dont intend on having any soon enough, which is novel, what caused me to think this way, of not regreting anything? any ideas... not from myself, im going to retreat to bed as of now, to "sleep on it", despite only one person will be able to relate this the last two paragraphs, sorry for being so vague, i know that isnt one of my best attributes :/
now that i think of it, after reading this entry and selecting the edit button, my reasoning for updating is to run from what is placed before me, i went onto this journal community so that i didnt have to come to any conclusions about the subject at hand, peculair enough this entry is all about that subject, but i havent thought of it once... maybe i should start
<3 forever n today
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