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SeraphimRhapsody (profile) wrote,
on 1-19-2004 at 10:22pm
Subject: Story Telling
I absolutely hate it when woohu's down. I guess I'll have to send Andy some money so he can fix the problem.

Kay. It took me over an hour to write this story..... so yeah. And that massive headache is back. -.-

Once there was this candle. Sleek and tall, an ivory white, almost reminding of weddings and purity and joy.

This candle lived with a family of two parents and a young girl. It was placed on the table of the family's house were everyone would see it at least once a day and it was lit not long after the little girl's fourth birthday. It shown brightly, giving warmth and happiness to those who watched it, a constant stability in the years that followed. Yes, years. For that candle burned slowly.. much slower than any candle before it.

The years passed and the little girl grew, but she always sat at that table at least once a day and smiled at the candle she had grown accustomed to and loved. The candle was happy, since it had a loving girl to look after it and keep it company, and knew it was making the rest of the family happy as well.

By the time the girl was around seven.. life began to pick up a bit. The candle had passed halfway from it's original height but strained to keep standing tall for the family. It watched the world though, worryingly. The girl occasionally missed seeing the candle at least once on some days. The parents often exchanged harsh words. And sometimes there would be absolutely no one at the table to sit with and enjoy the candle.

The candle grew lonely, and did not strain as much to stand tall. But still tried hard to keep it's light strong in case someone from the family passed by and needed the stable light. So there it stayed, on the table, for close to another year as things around it grew turbulent.

Close into the new year the child turned eight and took on a new look of the world. She returned to the candle more often, taking better care of it, and sometimes even talking to the candle about her day. With this development the candle shined and tried to stand up tall again so the girl would always know she could come to it. But by now the candle was at a very small height.

Then suddenly things shifted. The parents were like whirlwinds and breezes blew through the house. The candle fought against the winds but, still being a candle, could do little to protect itself. The flame would flicker, dodge the wind, then grow as strong as possible again. Still, the parents were moving around quickly, and the girl was forced to pick up pace as well. Confusion and upsetness filled the house and the candle tried hard to overcome it all but it was growing weak.

The girl was sitting at the table talking to the candle one day when the parents blew in again. She stared at the candle as it struggled to survive and glanced frantically to her parents and around the house. She had to do something to save the candle she had grown to depend on. She couldn't move it, it was far too weak to move now. The parents weren't going to end their shouts of winds, there was only one way for that to end. She had to find something to shield the candle.

Then the girl found it. It was a glass jar. When turned and placed over the candle it would provide protection from the buffeting wind but still allow everyone to see it. She rejoiced as she placed it over the candle, and the candle rejoiced as well, finding everything better. The flame could continue steadily and the jar didn't allow any of the wind in to touch the candle.

The candle watched the girl's lips though it could not read and was comforted by the girl's presence. The girl in turn was comforted by the candle's survival and that the whirlwinds of her parents could not hurt the candle any longer.

So the days passed, but things passed differently then usual. The parents were slowing but becoming more violent. The girl was often forced away from the house for periods of the day. And the candle found it harder to keep it's flame going strong.

On one particular day the girl was cowering by the table, talking quickly to the candle though the candle couldn't hear, as one of the parents moved rapidly through the house. The candle knew that the winds must be whipping around but felt safe in its confinements. It also knew that the girl seemed scared and very upset, so it put forth all it had to shine brightly for the girl. At that moment the flame wavered and the temporary smile it had given the girl twisted into concern.

Her little hand went out for the jar but right then it was grabbed by the parent. The parent proceed to pull the child from the table and toward the door, yelling back into the house with violent flurries. The girl was hysterical as she cried out for her candle, trying to reach with her free hand for the candle that continued to be pulled farther away from her.

The door slammed shut and the candle looked around at the eerie silence. It sputtered and something appeared that it had never seen before.. smoke. The candle did not understand. It's flame grew dimmer and it thought about the girl. The girl it had grown up with, and the family it had helped to comfort. It thought of the smiles it had caused and the strength it's small flame had once provided. It looked at this new substance filling up it's glass jar and wondered about the girl's future. It wondered how the girl would get along and how the candle had not been brought to be with her.

And there, at that last thought, the flame of the candle wavered and died, puffed into smoke.

Left to die, completely alone.

But.. was it's the girl's absence that led to the death of the beloved candle? Or its loneliness of the growing years built too high? The deduction that the girl could never come back? Or the parents' whirlwinds of pain? Or was it simply the fact that it no longer received any oxygen to remain alive....?

With love..

Question of the Day
What do you see in the story? What do you think I wrote about? Which of the questions at the end do you think is right? Comments? Views? How'd it make you feel? Etc...

And don't look at other comments until you've made your own!!
Post A Comment


01-19-04 10:57pm

The candle died because the girl was gone... she its oxygen. It had survived underneath the glass before she left, so it was not for lack of air.

I really was touched. It was very well written and so very sad. T_T

I see you in the story, but I'm not sure if you are the girl or the candle. A little of both I guess, as writers tend to pour some part of themselves into their tales. You wrote about your life. Perhaps this means you are more the girl... And your candle has died. Or you feel it dying under that glass, but you can't quite reach it to tell it that things will be okay, that you stil care, that you still feel its small warmth and delight in its now feeble glow. It is certainly an allegorical tale, but I won't kill it with my ToK/AP analysis. XD

It made me feel sad and... touched. I can relate to both the candle and the girl. It also made me happy though, that you channeled your thoughts into something so poignant and lovely. Sorrow holds a certain beauty when cast in such a mold.

I hope that one day you will be able to write a sequel, for candles can be relit.


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Re:, 01-19-04 11:11pm

Candles can be relit...
I forgot about that.
We'll see what happens I guess..

Thank you.


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CANDLE!!, 01-19-04 11:12pm


Pretty candle!!!
Wow.. love it!


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01-22-04 8:09pm

Aye, I agree. Most important thing is candles can be relit. Even if it takes 4 months... or longer, I suppose, but 4 months was long enough for me, thanks.

Anyway, as for the questions at the end...
I feel the word death is inappropriate there for that story. The friggin candle 'survived' under a jar for a while, and everyone knows that's improbable. (remember from captain jack, improbable, not impossible) Perhaps it was the girl's presence that allowed for this phenomenon, and upon the girl leaving, the candle was unable to fight off its surroundings any longer. Sometimes there's nothing to live for anymore. But that doesn't mean you die.

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Re:, 01-25-04 12:32am

Maybe the jar was large enough to hold enough air for the time up to the girl leaving...?

When there is nothing to live for anymore, then why live?

Thanks for the comments


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01-23-04 7:47pm

I really like the ideas behind it... (and I know where a lot of the inspiration came from;-))... the ideas like trying harder and harder to support and uplift another person (or ppl) that you kinda sacrifice yourself in the process... the idea that sometimes you try sooo hard and it seems to no avail... yet each day you try harder and harder.... then u kinda wonder... is it worth it all? is it worth the fight? am i even making a difference?
The message behind it is awesome.... the only thing... it seems too childlike but too adult-like at the same time... not sure how to fix that but that's just me. Ummm... yes very awesome story. Good job:-)
And kristen... whether u realize it or not... u really do make a difference. it's really hard to stand up to my family and tell them that yes.. i am going to miami... i'm going to just settle for uf... i can do better... and u keep me going and not just giving up on this stuff. thanks:-)

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Re:, 01-25-04 12:35am

Yeah, those were some incorporated ideas.

Childlike and adultlike? I guess I shifted views when trying to focus on the girl's view.. yeah.. hmmm.

Thank you.

Thanks for the comments.


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Kyo's, 01-25-04 12:46am

*points up* That would be Krystle, who neglects signing her posts.

These comments are from Kyo, the first one to read my story:

Dude... that like...
I'm teary eyed.

It -is- good!

I, personally, think the candle represents you and the girl Kai and god knows about the parents.
But regardless, if that's the case, I don't think I like it...

I like it, but not if it was brought on by Kai.
Then it's just too damn sad.

Spaces represent my reply that is not necessary to post. He was being a typical guy in this convo... normally I'd expect more personal feeling in his comments.


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Atryeu's, 01-25-04 12:53am

And this was Atryeu's interpretation:

*cries* that was a sad story :'( but good :)

poor candle :( lol

comments/views... hmm.. (gots to let ya know first, i'm terrible at stuff like that sometimes :-P lol)...

it definatly made me feel sad :( lol Kinda makes me think about the loss of a loved one (about the stories meaning and such), and how they were trying to hang on as long as possible to keep the rest of the family happy and give them some sort of comfort (does that sound dumb? i'm not good at wording stuff like this lol.. )

*Of the questions* in the stories case... the loneliness of the growing years one.. (heh, scientificly, the lack of oxygen :-P)

She's first to say that was the answer to the questions. I love this.


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Erik's, 01-29-04 2:06am

This is Erik's interpretation.. though he said I can't post it. Ah well.

the funny thing, is that the candle is a personalty of the girl.

The candle is a figment.
Its a part of the girl that is symbolized as a candle.
Her innocense, thats the right word.
As we grow we wlose that part of us.
The parents represent the real world.
And how it is taken from us and we 'move on'.

None of the questions will lead to the right answer, it was meant to be a rhetorical story, to show a thought and to have questions that could only come from the self.


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mrdgray's, 01-29-04 2:14am

This would be my nice stalker's views. He's an interesting kid.. the way he types I assume him to be... like one of ATL's normal kids. But his poetry is superb.

this is long
i like this
the end is sad

i think each of the reasons alone was not why it went out
but all together with out any support
thats why it went out

i think you wrote about yourself
and how you sometimes feel the light is gonna go out
and that no one cares
you alright

i think all they [the questions] are all right cause the bad things in life really suck and they can all get you down
and it made me feel like a i'm lucky i have freinds to light me back up again


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Kai's, 01-29-04 2:18am

And this... is Kai's...
Her first draft at least. It'd been a few days since she read the story and I hadn't posted the questions on the journal she sees.. so yeah. And she argued with me to conclude she would print the questions out and reanalyze them and the story......

Maybe she'll see something this time..

It was sad. I saw a candle which was probably someone real. I think you wrote about being alone. I think all but the last question was right. And I think that the girl will light another candle respectively for the other candle. Good enough? Maybe I can write more if I print it out and go over it tomorrow..

[Me:] It's just your personal view. No rights or wrongs so of course it's good enough.


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