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noonecanknow (profile) wrote, on 1-29-2004 at 6:57pm | |
Subject: it shouldn't |
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it shouldn't bug me.... but it does it shouldn't hurt me... but it does it shouldn't bother me in anyway... but it does i could never give up, but i try to block out. its hard when your family asks about him everyday. its hard when you look out the window to escape the classroom for a moment and you see him and his girlfriend going out to lunch. its hard when there isn't anywhere you could go to escape him. when i go shopping for clothes, i wonder what he will think of them. when i buy a dress for a dance he wont be at i wonder if he would think i was beautiful. when i get ready in the moring, i wonder if this would be the day where i would be good enough for him. then again i dont know if anyone is good enough that would be lucky enough to deserve him no matter where i am he is there somehow. i see him when i look at me, when i look at anything. i can't escape him when i close my eyes because he is there. it shouldn't haunt me....... but it does and there is nothing i can do to escape this i rent movies to try but the last time i did... the guy that sang our song was in it maybe i'm just crazy maybe i just deserve this it shouldn't scare me.... but it does to the realization of not wanting to be alone. as long as he is happy...... even if its without me then i shade fade however complelty as i said, i could never give up only attempt to block him out... |
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