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orfwashere (profile) wrote,
on 1-29-2004 at 10:02pm
Current mood: awkwardly depressed
Music: GG-GG-G-G-G-unit!
Subject: "For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!"
Hmm. What's new in my life? Same old shit, but not really.

I've gotten a lot better, and much more used to playing the bari sax. That is a major plus. Iím considering playing it for my college auditions in place of my alto. I sound awesome, well awesome for someone at my level, on alto, but I think I might just impress some people with my bari sax skills. Who knows? This year is my first time ever doing solo and ensemble. Iím really excited. I've got a bari sax solo that is coming along nicely; better than I had expected. I'm playing bari in a quartet that it doing a decent job at staying together, and I'm also in an alto trio, that is, well... a trio. It really needs help, but it sure is fun to play. I'm really starting to enjoy and love playing my saxophones. I'm at the point where I can't imagine life without them. If somebody ever causes me to lose my hands or fingers, they're getting a bullet to the head. Fa sho'

I also got accepted to three more schools. I went to guidance to send my transcripts out to FSU, USF, UNF, FIU, and FAU. It turns out that UNF already requested my transcripts, so they didn't have to be sent out. I didn't know they could, or would do that. I got an acceptance letter from them yesterday. I got my acceptance letter from USF the day I sent them my transcripts. The mail usually takes two days or so, meaning that they made their acceptance decision solely on my application and my SAT scores that I sent. Scary Shit. FIU accepted me too, but their admissions department is pretty worthless, so they get a student to call and congratulate me first, and then send the letter a week later. at least USF called me the day I got the letter. I still haven't applied to FSU, or Jacksonville University. I have a feeling that JU is exactly like Lynn University. Their jazz director called me at 9:30 on a thursday night a few weeks ago to ask me if I was going to audition. Apparently there are only about 2,500 students at JU. There's that many at Atlantic, and also Lynn. That makes me figure that it's a small shitty campus. But it's a plus because there's more privatized instruction, and also itís close to the beach, unlike USF in Tampa and FSU in Talahassee(sp). Young Harris College also called me tonight to ask if I was interested. I politely told the girl that I wasn't, but she kept asking me questions about my major, and where I applied. I wanted to hang up, but she was being so nice to me that I couldn't bring myself to do it. I told her about my career plans, and she mentioned something about God's plan for me. She also told me to pray that things work out or something. I was really tempted to tell her that I'm an atheist, but she was just too nice. I can't do that. I'm not ever sure that I'm an atheist. I don't know what I am. I just prefer not to think about it now. As for now, I don't believe in much, I don't pray, I don't go to church, and I am happy. Maybe when I turn 40, I'll have some crazy epiphany and change my ways, but until then I'll stay very unreligious. I also tried Xanex. No, not on prescription, just because it's fun. Really fun. But I'm done with stupid shit like that. Alcohol is my limit. No pot, no bars, no more recreational mind altering substances that aren't alcohol. So there! Take that illegal drug market. Boo yah!

Wow, that was the first time I've ever said Boo yah! Weird.

But on to what that last paragraph should have said: I've been infatuated with the same girl since freshman year. I can't get her out of my mind. I think about her all the time.... and get depressed. I had a dream about her a month ago, where she wouldn't talk to me and completely ignored me. I guess dreams imitate life, because she never wants to talk to me, or see me again. I get what I deserve. I've been single for almost a year and a half. I think the only times in high school that I've been happy were when I wasn't single. Those were also the times when I was the least shy. I had one or two chances in that time to become not-single, but they weren't the right ones. I don't know. I think I just can't meet the right girl. I met this girl Adelia in my chorus class. Oops, almost forgot to mention, I'm in chorus now. Yes, that's right: 3 band classes and one chorus class. I'm a pimp. But back to that girl I met; people say sheís weird, but I think she's cool. She flirts a lot, but I can't tell if that's just because she's interested, or if she's just one of those girls that flirts with every guy in the world. Oh well. Hopefully my next entry will be more positive. I have such a negative outlook on life. That's why I never smile. I think that's also why I don't update often. I don't want to look back on these years from now and see only the bad things.

So that's it for now. Foreverly yours,
A.J.
Post A Comment



pinkwombat

01-29-04 11:09pm

I'm pretty much an atheist too, and it's annoying telling religious people that. And it's no use, they just try harder to convert you.

Dreams about crushes are the worst. I have the same dreams where guys I like ignore me. But then, when they ignore me in real life, they mess with me in my dreams. So annoying.

Yea...gotta get back to the homework that I was avoiding my reading and commenting on your post. See you in Stats. If you show up, that is.

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twister10

01-30-04 1:18am

Yeah. I was wondering why the hell I saw you walking to the chorus room ;)

It's more fun to be agnositc. People aren't as intent on converting you, or as quick to call you blashphemous.

I and I too, just can't hang up on nice people. I even feel bad for lying to telemarketers sometimes.

Nice to hear from ya, stranger, and good luck with the college crap.

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epicyclebanana

01-30-04 9:51am

You should come to UNH, it'll be fun and I promise not to molesrt you or anything, I think I should stop drinking because it's bad or something, I know Adelia she's nice but is a bit flirtatous, awesome about the sax, and I'm wondering how many thoughts I can puitinto one drunken sentence, but I gotta go to class. drunk.

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DragonSpeaker

01-30-04 11:27pm

I'm glad you're enjoying playing your saxes, it's good to have something you love to do.

I know Adelia, she's a riot. I have English with her, but I've known her since my freshman year. She's a cool friend. I thought this may be of interest to you.

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Anonymous

02-01-04 9:36am

stop dreaming about me, dork haha. just remember....i said i would talk to you and you didnt want to, so dont be depressed

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Anonymous

Re:, 02-01-04 12:21pm

why would you want to talk to me if you still think im such an asshole?

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Anonymous

Re: Re:, 02-01-04 12:27pm

i dont think youre an asshole

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re:, 02-01-04 12:45pm

well thats what i recently heard, but i guess it's better that you don't think so.
i'm not trying to be an asshole anymore

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re:, 02-01-04 1:02pm

thats good. were you trying to be before?

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 02-01-04 1:28pm

no, but i'm sure it seemed like i was.

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 02-01-04 1:34pm

kinda...but no hard feelings

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 02-01-04 1:36pm

kinda...but no hard feelings

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 02-01-04 1:40pm

kinda...but no hard feelings

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 02-01-04 1:43pm

good. im glad to hear that. i never meant to hurt you.
i really wish i could take back everything.

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Anonymous

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 02-01-04 2:03pm

thanks, thats good to hear

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saxonthebeach

02-02-04 12:39pm

Awesome about the sax stuff. You, me, and Fowee should get together over the summer and play through some stuff.

Don't think that schools are crappy just because they're small. My school has only about 4,500 undergrads and is an awesome school (although I detest US News rankings, we're somewhere in the 30s overall and in the top 5 for a few different kinds of engineering and somewhere in the 20s for undergrad business). Check out the school and see what feels right. When I was visiting schools. the smaller the school, the better I felt walking around the campus. Go with your gut.

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