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bunnyblood2 (profile) wrote,
on 1-30-2004 at 3:51am
Current mood: Insomniaic?
Music: Fucking Audioslave song stuck in my head....Highway.
Subject: No sleepy......cry now.
I can't fall asleep....mostly due to the fact that Tom snores and otherwise does annoying things in his sleep....steals the blankets...breathes in my face...argh. I took two sleeping pills a while ago...no effect. I should have taken the whole bottle and never wake up again.

I was kind of saddened when I looked at Tom's arm and saw the tattoo he has of his ex-girlfriend's intitials and her son's. He also has one on his chest of another girl's initials. And I was just thinking...what was so special about them that he would have their initials inked into his skin...twice mind you...and I don't get that privilege? Why am I not special? Then of course that led to me thinking that I wasn't as good as them...that I would never be "tattoo material". But then I also realized that they're gone...and I'm still here. They obviously weren't perfect enough to keep him...so in fact I've got something that they don't. And that made me happy again.

As soon as I turn eighteen, I'm definetly thinking of getting his initials on me, even though Tom says I shouldn't and would probably be mad at me. But the way I see it....he's already left a lasting impression on me...basically changed me forever. There's always the possibility of us not being together anymore in the future...but even if that happens, I'm still going to remember everything. Everything he's done for me. Everything he's taught me. I wouldn't regret ever getting a tattoo to remind me of him. the tattoo is already there on my heart...that's for sure. Woven in permanently.

I don't care if I'm being mushy or sappy right now, this is my damn journal, and I'll write whatever the fuck I want in it.....so there!

Somehow I wish that I could stop aggravating him so much..but I never really notice when I do. Maybe I'm too selfish. But when I think I'm right, I just can't stop arguing until I prove it. And even if I am proven wrong, I still go on because of the embarrassment of being defeated. Ha, I think I've found the first flaw already...QUIT BEING A BITCH. There, now that that's solved.....I can move on.

Funny as it seems, I wish I was working right now. Even tomorrow. My manager said that the schedule is going to be disappointing for the next month or so (disappionting=2 work days a week=shitty paycheck). But after that, now that I've finished school (go me!), I should be getting pretty decent hours.

I'm going to go and try to sleep again...if Tom would stop rolling over on top of me, preventing me from breathing.
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