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| MizzPunkRockPrincess (profile) wrote, on 4-20-2004 at 5:52pm | |
| Current mood: restless Music: N.E.R.D-"She wants to move" Subject: Beer is Good =) |
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| Official PDC Beer Troubleshooting Guide SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet FAULT: Beer being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. FAULT: Improper bladder control. ACTION: Take a swim in ocean. SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Beer empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself lashed to bar. SYMPTOM: Mouth contains sand/cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above. SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or beer applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror. SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Floor moving. FAULT: You are being carried out. ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles. FAULT: You are dancing on the table. ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking. SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear. FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. ACTION: Punch him. SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. FAULT: You have been in a fight. ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them. SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party. ACTION: See if they have free beer. SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted. FAULT: The beer is too weak. ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves. SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song. FAULT: Beer is just right. ACTION: Play air guitar. Tried and true guidlines. Utilize for happy/safe vacationing! Have Fun Lol. This was something Jack found and read it to me. So I sent it to all my friends(which consists of no one!) YA-AY! Nah... Daniel, I think, likes me again. We were sitting there at lunch and I go, "I want a drink!" but I didn't want him to be grossed out by my mouth being on it, so I was acting all weird and Luecky started making fun of me for it. So Daniel goes, "It doesn't matter anyways, cause it's not like we haven't made out before!" and I was like "Yeah... I guess!" Then I took a tic tac out of my mouth and put it in his. It was so funny. Cause Court put it in my mouth from hers.. I swear, everyone thinks I'm a bisexual or a lesbian. Well, I have a boyfriend, so it's not like I don't like guys.. =). Speaking of boyfriends, Aaron had a dream that I got on his back and his legs colapsed under him.. I was like "That is so mean!".... So it's like... Damn... I feel so loved... Amanda Martin started spreading rumors that I have been doing stuff with Luecky...yeah right, he's prude, so I'm like "Nu-uH....that's OK... I'll go on and be non-prude over here...". Anyways, gtg... -Jordan- |
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