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emo414 (profile) wrote,
on 5-20-2004 at 11:36am
Current mood: melancholy
Music: P. Diddy - Ill be Missing You
Subject: stef's
it is finally summer! well today was pretty good..... went to band and played graduation songs....... then went to greene's and took a hard ass WH exam. came home layed down for a while then went to work and the highlight of my day after work, goin to stef's house to hang out with all the friends. we went swimming from like 7 til dark so it was fun and then everybody got in showers and it was amusing. then i had to get naked lol and change in the bathroom it was fun lol. then i went out into the main room and mal was on the floor doin the worm and it was funny as poo and i love the worm its awesome. so then i was like i can do it better than u mal and i couldnt do it but then we went into the weightroom and i practiced and it was funny as crap cause mal starts standing up and then hits the ground and i tried doin it that way but instead of hitting the floor at an angle i hit it flat and almost broke my toes it was crazy funny lol. but then i got it down (the worm) and went into the main room and did it, it was fun. but before i did it ben did it and he is crazy good at it, it provided me with much joy and me and him actually talked tonight and he seems pretty kool and all this time or a while back i just wished he would die lol. me and gaea were sittin together for a while and i really think i like her a lot. i really want to hang out with her soon just me and her, we will have to see what happens, hehe. and then we just hung out for a while and then people started leavin and then alex left and she was givin everybody hugs because she is movin the 26th and then she came over and gave me a hug and i was like dont worry i will see u again but then i started thinkin about it and i thought i might not see her again so i gave her another hug and she was like we will see eachother again. and it kinda made me think of how she is movin and i got a little "mellow" cause i realized she is gone in 6 days and thats pretty crazy. i dont feel bad for ben and alex but i wish things would be better for them, its gonna be hard but its what they want i guess. but maybe i am thinkin about her movin too much but i really am gonna miss her. and then i started thinkin about carol leavin, its gonna be so different without her next year and then there is paul who is movin in like a month or less. then mal said this year i swear everyone is either movin or dyin. and then i thought about frankie. now that school is over, not like we even acted like we knew eachother but whatever, i doubt i will ever see him. he has gotten so bad and i realize he might read this but i dont care. and maybe i am being a hypocrit because i know i have done it, but he has taken his "mary-jane" addiction a little overboard. its all he ever does and its all he can talk about or think about. and its weird because its like he isnt even frankie anymore because it has changed him so much. one day soon i am gonna say somethin to his face, even though i doubt he will listen, because he has a serious problem and i dont want to loose any more of him thats already gone. i have been thinkin about him a lot recently and about how different he is because people who were never even close to him have said somethin to me about it. lindsey even brought up out of the blue the other day how different he is and how he doesnt visit her anymore cause he is always getting high. if u read this anytime soon frankie, we miss u man. bye for now
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05-22-04 8:50am

ryan, you had fun with me, motha fucka!

love you

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