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playmate101 (profile) wrote,
on 7-12-2004 at 4:32pm
Current mood: aggravated
Music: True // Ryan Cabrera
Subject: i'm weak, it's true, i'm just scared to know the ending.
idk y i'm updating... i've been thinking... n plus i'm really bored.

had practice & hung with Chels & Nikki. "i had one n i swear my macaroni started talking to me". "omg matrix whoaaa" lmao. "yo baby, yo baby yo MOMMA!" lmao "all those kids in private school are baddd, u think they're good, but their parents didn't want them thats y they got stuck there." lol.

anyways... got home from practice & ashley & i were gonna go shopping... but she doesn't have money to spend. =/ for some reason, i have this feeling that she doesn't like me.... idk i didn't d0o nutn. maybe i'm just annoying to her. lol i know i get annoyed with people. *shrug*

s0o at noon today, my phone rang. i thought someone called... but it was my alarm that i set awhile back... the 12th of every month, it would go off @ noon, for our anniversary. thats when i hit rock bottom. just got weaker... felt down, but what can ya do?

neil n i hadda convo last night. i liked it alot.. someone to talk to. but he just kept insisting that i find new guys.

HCOblonde31: u know how u were talking about how bein with someone... n havin those simple hugs feel different... jonahs have always been different... n so have our talks... compared to the many other guys i've met & hung with in the past few weeks... thats why they dont compare....
HCOblonde31: mushy lil girl lol sry
MoFo1788: yea but tahts cuz u liked him
MoFo1788: start liken sum1 else

and to my surprise... i haven't talked to jonah all day today, and i wanna call him... but i think after last night... him thinking that i want someone that i don't know (dennis)... idk i feel uncomfortable... with him thinking that i pity him... because when i say somethin i mean it. i guess for me to be comfortable he would hafta call me... lets me know that it didnt get him pissed. =/

ok i'm sick of talking... imma go be bored in my bed & watch some more tv. call my cell if u wanna do something, or justttt to say hello. <3
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07-12-04 5:49pm

yea i know that feeling...going from a special connection with a guy to just ordinary guys just doesn't seem right. don't rush sweetie. i don't have as many takers as you lol but dont settle for just anybody. cuz you know what special is and you can't go back now.

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