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r0ckmywurld (profile) wrote,
on 8-8-2004 at 10:27pm
Current mood: eh..not sure
Music: thursday
Subject: stuff and thangs
why does he feel it is okay to come and go in my life as he pleases? it isnt. it kills when he gets bored enough to pick up the phone and call me. when he doesnt have his girl to turn to in times of boredom. when he is sick of her. shes not enough anymore? suddenly im supposed to drop everything when after 2 years you havent wanted anything to do with me.. because of her? fuck you. dont think that you have that kind of control. i will not pick up the phone and call. and yes i will be a bitch when you call me. fuck you. prove to me that you really miss me. truely. deeply. subtract your problems in your relationship right now. think about if you guys are good again. your not aloud to talk to me then. and you wont. im not here for your convienence, when you need it. when you are "in the mood" for a hug or whatever else. fuck you. im not the person you used to know. ive done some growing up over the past couple years. you've remained stagnant with her. i told you that i loved you. you told me you loved her. you never even gave a fuck about me even platonically. but yes i was your best friend. the best friend you could ever ask for. remember the summer we spent cuddling on your couch? remember being unseperable? but we were always just friends. i remember the first time i met her. i watched that game and how you played. she didnt like being cold. i remember how shitty the ref.s were and flipping out with your dad. i miss him. she sat there watching like a blind person. but you saw her and looked right through me. "its like meeting the man of your dreams then meeting his beautiful wife". she was beautiful trash. but i was thrown to the curb. i hope you have been happy the past years. it must be comforting to know that i will always be here when you feel like it. fuck you. i hope that you have been miserable. i hope that you still have everything that i gave you. i dont have a thing. i hope every hockey game you look to the stands to see me. i hope she never hugged you when you smelled after a game. .... it would kill me to know..... i hope you think of me everytime your sad. i wish i didnt pick up the phone the other day. "restricted #" its never meant anything good. restricted. like when you can talk to me. even when you tried to be friends with me. it was a secret. "not good timing to tell her" well tough guy. you've said you've been sticking up to her. how about now? i wont be some secret. and you wont be the truth. i hope when it is really over between you. you run back to me. you run faster than you ever have thought. but remember you untied this bond. and i will laugh uncontrollably when you trip on your shoelace and fall on your face. i hope she makes you happy. i hope she makes you as happy as you have made me these past years.
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08-23-04 9:28am

whoa... i've never read your journal before... i really liked this entry... haha i know exactly what you mean... you're not someone's toy that they can forget about for years and then just pick up when it's convinient right where they left off... fuck people like that! :)

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