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spinoangel (profile) wrote,
on 8-18-2004 at 6:26pm
Music: jealous sound - "recovery room"
sometimes i wonder
if people can see the welling in my eyes
if they can sense the tenseness in my face
if they know how much i want to go away
if they feel me drifting far off into myself
if they can hear my heart as it falls to the ground
if they know how much i love/miss them

i wonder what could happen if i could just end it all ? is there a place called heaven, or would i just go be reincarnated and start hell on earth all over again, but this time even worse? my life is great, ya know? it really is. i just don't feel great. so many times in the day i feel more like an outsider than i have in all of high school. you think that wouldnt happen since it's junior year, but its true. i don't see my friends, and when i do, i can't truly enjoy my time with them. the only thing i look forward to during the day is going home with danielle. if not for that, i'd be sobbing into greta's shoulder everyday. but that doesnt sound too bad every now and then either. it's simply asinine and unnecessary for me to put myself down and feel like crap all the time. but i dont know. i cant help it.

just forget everything that i said and wash out the wounds.
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08-18-04 7:14pm

i love you!

and you'll get to escape the next two saturday nights into beautiful dancing parties. so you can look forward to that?

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Re:, 08-18-04 7:24pm

actually it's looking pretty bleak right now.

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Re: Re:, 08-18-04 8:12pm


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08-19-04 10:28pm

cheer up. know that there is soon to be a place you can truely go to. i so wish i were there so i could just hold you and take the pain away. it ales me to see you like this. im still here. lj explains it all, almost. we do love you, and that, you must keep trying. love.

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