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|KirbyDee (profile) wrote, |
on 9-14-2004 at 11:47pm
|Current mood: depressed
Subject: bleh... nyah...
|Today was the day from hell... god, it sucked some major ass. I bombed my spanish make-up quiz, and I'm soooo close to being kicked off SLS that I cried for an hour while we did drill. No, you didn't imagine it and that's why Katie and most of the guard was hugging me. It's just that Ruch reminded me today I have 2 (should be 1) unexcused abscences and if I get three then I'm off SLS and that got me thinking... Last year, I always had my drill which was unnecessary cuz I had it memorized. I was almost never late, twice for when they made practice earlier. When Misty said "ideal guard member", she brought me up as an example. What I lacked in seniority, I made up with talent, drive and endless effort. This year, I lost the first drill sheet, left my drill at home, was late at least twice, my unexcused absences speak for themselves. I don't see why I'm on SLS, I don't deserve it. So we had an SLS meeting after and I tried my best to muffle myself but I couldn't, and by the end I was just letting the tears stream down. Then Misty motioned for me to come closer and she hugged me and then I explained to her about how I felt I was disappointing the group and all that jazz... Then she reassured me everyone makes mistakes and Carrie and Tiff hugged me, it was very reassuring... It was also awesome cuz other people hugged me and made me feel better before I went to the stupid Pre-PSAT/SAT thing... But I was still depressed and then Ruchie hugged me and said he was sorry for being hard on me earlier (for those in Chorale, I went into Mr. Shaull's/ Ruch's office to talk to Ruch about the SMUNC which lead to my absences), but I didn't have the strength to tell him it was good that he brought it up. I had lost sight of what is most important to me, and sad as it is, Color Guard and Marching Band is tied for most important in my life. It's my second family, when I'm pissed or sad I turn to the guard or if I'm at home I turn to my sabre. Anyway, yeah... still depressed and my knee still hurts (sliced the back of my knee since I was shaving before guard and started to cry over the whole thing since I was thinking about what I was going to tell Ruchie).
ON A HAPPY NOTE! I get to represent my lover aka Adrian. Katie and I are getting specific work for his part of the trio, and the other people are getting work for the other soloists and all that jazz... I think Carrie Bearie has a huge solo, I don't know though.
ON A BETTER NOTE!!!!! DARIN'S PLATELETS ARE WAY UP!!!! YAY!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER! I GOT YOUR CREDO TODAY, FUNNY STIFF! I BELEIEVE IN MULTIPLE ORGASMS!! LMAO DARE BEAR!!!
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