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kirbydee (profile) wrote,
on 10-8-2004 at 12:42am
Current mood: depressed
Music: "Are Kara" -- Shimokawa Mikuni
Subject: All I do is hurt the ones I care the most about...
What the hell was I thinking? All I did was end up hurting both of us, and for what? For him to be pissed at me for breaking his heart and then expecting everything to be perfectly okay when I said I changed my mind? What is wrong with me?! I need a shoulder to cry on, but I don't want sympathy... I don't want to explain what happened, why I'm hurt, why he's hurt... I hate myself for doing this to him before I talked to him about it, I hate that he was hurt and then pissed (he has every right to be, anger comes from hurt)... I hate these tears, tears reserved only for my beloved father, that I know shed for him... What was I thinking? That's it, I wasn't... Modesto is going to suck.... regardless of the fact I'm doing the retreat...
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