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sparkythefool (profile) wrote,
on 1-8-2005 at 9:20pm
Current mood: amused
Music: "More Than Fine" +Switchfoot+
Subject: The Brenda Battle Axe Plan.
Sometime late in December of last year, Garid and I somehow came up with the idea that it would be hilarious if we gave Brenda a battle axe. Here is that story, complete with pictures and everything. Click below!

Everyone, meet Brenda. Now, Brenda is under five feet tall, rather quiet and polite, and is pretty much one of those people that you could put in your pocket because they're so cute. Sometimes when I talk to her I feel bad because I have to ask her to repeat what she said because I couldn't hear her. I don't think I've ever heard her say a word during class, but that's okay. So now you know Brenda.

Cute, I know.

Now, picture little Brenda with a giant battle axe not unlike this one.

Actually it's pretty much exactly like this one.

I went looking on eBay for a battle axe and found the excellent specimen pictured above. I quickly bid on it and told Garid, who agreed that it would be great for Brenda. Sometime in the next few days, I told Grace and Carolyn about the Plan and they loved it. The auction ended on December 22nd, and hey, I won! Now I had to wait for them to ship it to me, which would be sometime in the next week or so.

The axe finally arrived on a Wednesday afternoon right as my mother and I were about to leave to go somewhere. She asked me what was in the giant box and I casually remarked, "Oh, just something I bought on eBay." Of course, she wouldn't take that for an answer..she just had to see what it was. I took a boxcutter and sliced open the box to reveal another, smaller box. As I pulled the smaller box out of the first one, mother exclaimed, "Oh, Nancy! Why did you buy that?" I was confused at first because I didn't know that she knew what it was from the box alone, but then I realized that there was a picture of the axe on the outside of the box. I pulled the axe out of the box and handed it to my mother to examine. She felt the metal edge and gasped, "Oh, Nancy! It's real! I thought it was plastic! Oh my!" Of course it's real, mother, I wouldn't settle for a cheap imitation. By then we were late for wherever we were going, so I put the axe back in the box and we left.

For a long time, there wasn't a day that worked for all five of us (Brenda, Grace, Carolyn, Garid, and myself) to get together, so the axe sat in my room for a good amount of time. Then finally, the day arrived. January 8th, 2005.

I drove over to Grace's house in the rain a little before 1:00.

It wasn't raining this hard while I was driving, but it was still coming down steadily.

I was the first to arrive and Carolyn came soon after.

Garid was supposed to come, but he decided that he "didn't feel like it." Well, fine.

Grace decided that it would be a good idea to wrap the axe up in this pretty, flowery paper.

She went a little crazy with the tape, but she did better than I would have.

Carolyn watched for a while.

She finally decided to help out Grace.

Now that's just cute.

Grace put the finishing touches on the package and we waited eagerly for Brenda to arrive.

Finally, she came! We made her wear these beads to add to her ensemble. Naturally, she wanted to know what the pretty, pink package on the floor was.

"Why Brenda, that's for you!" "Yeah, we got you a Christmas present..hope you like it!" "Uh..thanks guys!"

And the opening commences.

Yes, a box! Awesome!

"All that tape made me angry, but I don't know how to make an angry face so I'll just smile."

Silly tape, jeez.

So I like to take pictures okay.

Some of the axe is revealed!

If I remember correctly, Brenda was both amused and confused at the same time. I can't imagine why.

Heck yes. I have been looking forward to this for weeks, honestly.

"Arr! I am mighty Brenda! Fear me!"

Okay, maybe that's enough..for now.

Back in the box it goes!

What's this? Carolyn wants to play with the battle axe?

I think she wants it..too bad, it's Brenda's! It fits her better anyway.

Oh, this is attractive.

Here Grace attempts to look intimidating. Not working.

Take a look at her grip. Can't get much swing out of that, now can you?

That's much better!

The weight of the axe is too much to bear..better give it back to Brenda.

Holy crap this is scary. But the picture below is even more terrifying.

Okay imagine this coming towards you on a dark street in the middle of the night. Jesus.

The novelty of the axe began to wear off, so Grace attempted to entertain us by dancing. I suppose it was entertaining..everyone was laughing, so it must have been! Though I believe we were mostly laughing at the absurdity of Grace's "moves." It happens.

Shake it.

I don't even know.

Bwahahaha. This is sexy, seriously.

"I think I can do that ballerina thing! Watch!" Right after I took this, she fell over. Too bad I missed it.

Yeah, so right now Brenda's the coolest person ever in my book. Rock it.

The Brenda Battle Axe Plan was a complete success in my eyes. I wonder what her mother is going to say..I guess I'll find out on Monday! Hope everyone enjoyed. Oh, and yes, there were no pictures of me at all. That's because I prefer being behind the camera rather than in front of it. However, Carolyn stole the camera later on in the day when we were having a card table building contest and managed to snap one of me. Jerk. I shall leave you all with that. Farewell!

Stupid cards.
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