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kiwi (profile) wrote,
on 2-16-2005 at 7:04pm
Current mood: depressed
Music: The Happy Cd- Let's start a War
Subject: Killing
Gar, I'm slowly kiling my friends... allll of my friends. I'll do soemthing. Something I don't think is a big deal, something I would do fro anyone... adn somehow some really weird way, it hurts my friend. I don't expect it to. I've done it millions of times before.. but now. right now, it's hurting them... Why? I'm slowly killing all fo my friends.
And the scariest part, Liz is writing a story adn she loosely based a character on me... and that charecter has thiese really cool powers, but she goes all weird and way in teh furture ends up destoring all of her friends... I read this way ebfore I started hurting my friends in any signficant way... so it almost feels like this story foreshadowed what's happening now!
And the worst part is my friends are being really really great recently. They're helping me things I didn't before, helping me through things, not passing judgement... jsut sort of being a cpach, instead of teammate on the field, but on the flip side that might be why I'm killing them... because they are as active in my immediate life anymore... and in a way they're killing me. Two or so of my friends have said that they should help me find a guy... one told me she could get me drugs... others are trying to prevert me... make me talk more... not let me read... or write, blend in. Do what everyone else is doing. While most of the time it feels good... sometimes it doesn. Like when I sit back and look at what's happening.
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02-16-05 11:08pm

In my story, Lauren (my character) sees all this in a dream, and spends the rest of the time trying to stop it from happening (which she does, I think, I haven't gotten that far in the plot yet).

I don't think you're killing people too much. You're a force, so it's kind of hard to be friends with you sometimes, but I think everyone knows you don't mean it (speaking from my prospective).

Blending in is...blah. Doing what everyone else is doing is nice, to a point, but I can't imagine you without all your weird quirks, you wouldn't be Katie anymore.

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