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jaganshi (profile) wrote,
on 4-16-2005 at 3:40pm
Sometimes I feel like people are competing to see who has the most baggage. I get the impression that it's a point of pride for far too many people.
The fact is, there are a lot of people who can't participate in that shit. You know why? The difference between angst and actual emotional problems is in the manifestation. If people want you to know they're fucked up... just wait until they stop talking about it. Then you'll know they're serious.
Until then, it's just a bunch of teens and young adults trying to outdick each other any way they can.

I'm tired of it, and I can't believe I had so much tolerance for it before. I used to think that maybe if I could catch people and help them while they're still at the angst phase, they'd never have to know what it felt like to be fucked in a way that isolated them even from other insane citizens of the younger generation.

Not any more. I won't do it. I will not spend my time trying to help people. In a way, by developing emotional tendencies, I'm even more inexcusably cold than I was before because I know what it is to feel and I actively refuse to do it for anyone else's sake.

No one can make me feel anything I don't want to feel. That's the way I live, and it's the way I've survived.

Anyone else... let them make their own choices. Let everyone else live or die according to their own whims and efforts, not mine.
"If they're to die let them do it quickly and decrease the surplus population."

I am not in control of anyone else. Anyone who even considers handing their salvation over to me will be very disappointed, because I've changed. That's not my game anymore.
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