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|holdme (profile) wrote, |
on 4-23-2005 at 9:38am
|Subject: Well... no entries in a very long time.
|I've read a few of the previous ones. They make me angry.
I can't seem to want to grow up... I haven't even gotten my permit. I'm faily history. Many people seem to hate me too. I don't really know what to do anymore. If any of you have it together, please tell me. I'm so frustrated. I'm jealous and pissed. I want to kill 4 people... and maybe 1 more. I just want them out of my life forever. I don't understand how she can be so happy... She smiles so much now, no stressing... She has him. By the way, if none of you knew, my best friend stopped being friends with me... twice. How can Anna move on so fast? Nope, how can Amelia? I think she was the person who made me cry the most, yet in my life. But I'm not happy she's gone. There is kind of a gaping hole. I don't know what I'm feeling now. Mike is a bitch. He's one of the people I want to kill currently. I kind of feel like cutting. I know it's no way out, but it might releave some of the pressure going through my life right now. My parents are there for me they say... but they don't seem to be. Life's a bitch and then you die. I think I'm heading for death right now... because I have sunk into the worst place yet. I thought it would get better 2 months earlier... but hey, it hasn't.
Maybe once I start feeling better about myself, my life will get better. But to feel better about me, I have to apply myself...
...Not going to happen.
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I read somewhere that it was proven that if you smiled even when things were bad, you'd feel a lot better. Plus your attitude would like.. just do a 180. Or so I read.
Re:, 04-23-05 12:35pm