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chalupaguadalahara (profile) wrote,
on 5-17-2005 at 11:05pm
I have such highs and lows. One day I'll look around and the world is so beautiful to me, even simple things. The green grass and swaying trees, the diversely complex people and their unity... Then I look at myself and I think...what have I really even got to live for? Granted I have family and friends.. but they all pass away. Education and jobs pass away... money passes away. I don't feel any spirituality whatsoever anymore. I feel like I'll never establish anything. It's not like I can get married..being an effin faggot anyway...so take watching my children grow up off the list or even loving my grandchildren...pleasing my family and mother for that matter too...those can go. I realize I'm not fit to have some sort of significant other... if I can't have love..what do I have? nothing.

god..
dammit

~shakes head~

This is pointless..all of it.
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