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| Shoe23 (profile) wrote, on 5-19-2005 at 11:30am | |
| I don't know which way to go, or what to look for if I get there. Everything is so contradicting of itself anymore I just leaves me stuck in the middle of no where. I still don't understand what kind of purpose I hold on this earth. So last night, one of my two favorite nights of the week my mother calls me and is just really upset because she wants someone's "support." So guess what.. she drug me to the doctor today [for her] because she needed "support." I just went through the same exact thing she went through today, same exact freaking thing.. I didn't ask for anyone to be there. I did have support behind me but, I faced the faqs alone. I don't understand why she feels like I owe her anything, she enjoys every minute of time she gets to spend in a complete massacre to destroy my dreams, hopes, and my future. But, I'm always there to pull her out of her troublesome experiences. I don't know why I care so much about what happens to her.. I guess it's just something that comes naturally between a child and her mother, I wish I had the same back. I also don't know about this entire quitting thing, Tiff. This is going to make things a lot harder for me to take and handle appropriately. I do know it is best for me to stop using, though. Today is pretty rough without them, I've thrown up everything I've even had to drink.. it's lovely. I must not have been thinking of how hard it was to quit the first time when I decided to start again. Anyway, enough of my complaining.. [update] If you can understand this, you can pretty much figure out what is going on... . I can't make it on my own . . so cut my wrists and black my eyes . . so I can fall asleep tonight, or die . . because you kill me . . you know you do, you kill me well . . you like it too, and I can tell . . you never stop until my final breath is gone . .. . I need you now [more like yesterday] . . for the last time turn out the lights . . my life on standby . .. . so standby and watch . . this [fall away] and [fall apart] . .. .. just say that it's over .. |
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loserxdork | 05-19-05 4:57pm Sorry I haven't commented in forever...A lot has been going on.
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livingdeadgirl13 | whats going on, 05-20-05 3:31pm i dont know whats going on sweetie.. whats wrong...why did you go to the doctor, and why are you throwing up? |