HAS GONE FUCKING CRAZY! Don't believe me? Verizon FIOS Internet Service. Believe 'dat, bitch.

Five megabits downstream, two megabits upstream for $40.00? My current Verizon DSL that does three megabits down and 768kb up is that much. That's a hell of an upstream increase, too. I mean, that's an absolute fuckload. I'm the only person I know that has the 3 megabit DSL, whereas everyone else has the 1.5 megabit service. I could upload to someone I know, and still have upload left over. Mmmm.

But right below that, that's what I like. Mmm, yeah. 15 megabits of downloading force. And it's $10.00 more. That's a little crazy. 15 megabits a second, let's just assume the worst and say you get roughly 13 or so. That's still 1664 kilobytes a second. Damn. That's an entire 700MB CD in 7.1794871 minutes.

Then there's the internet service that will turn your toaster on for you. It'll have your children. It'll create world peace in your sleep. It'll be yo' baby's daddy. 30 megabits. I'm not even going to use the calculator on this one. That's just fast. Faster than anyone reasonably needs. I mean really. The fact that's it's $200 a month just adds to the whole "get it and tout it over your neighbor and friends" factor. Invite a bunch of people over... "Yeah, look at how fast I can download DVD quality porn. Don't you wish you could do that? Oh, you've still got that wimpy-assed 3 megabit stuff."