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pixeldot (profile) wrote,
on 6-11-2005 at 9:36pm
Current mood: blank
Music: Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz
I've had a dream about Stunkel every night for the past 4 nights. No bad dreams, nothing with him dumping me or being mean, every dream has been about us getting back together or going on a nice date.

I found riding in the back of Jorie's car on the way to the Kays Place concert to be extremely hard, because my mind associates it with reaching over and grabbing his hand. And while part of me was shaken with the realization that I may never feel that again, another stronger part was really happy that I was able to experience that kind of joy in the first place.

Its taken a while, but I think I'm finally coming to terms with it. Thats not to say that I'm not going to hope that when he feels ready for a relationship that he'll turn back to me, or that I can even find anybody else right now even remotely desirable (Honestly, most of the time I have a mental list of people I'd say yes to if asked for a date, but right now I wouldn't consider *anybody* but him.) But I'm coming to terms in that I'm able to smile at the past.
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