| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| upchuck (profile) wrote, on 8-27-2005 at 10:43am | |
| Current mood: gloomy Music: "Hey Pretty" - Poe Subject: The Past, Present, and Future |
|
| Yesterday was something else entirely. It marked my entrance back into the workforce, which felt good. It also led me to relive the past. With what has been going on in my life lately, you might think that that isn't a good thing, but I do. Because the past I was reliving was the past of two, three, even four years ago, not the hellish roller coaster ride of the last year and half. I went back to work and it was like I didn't miss a single beat. I nailed everything on the head. It was kind of depressing, the fact that everyone seems to hate their job so much. It's almost like it is all a chore. Not something that I saw before, because I almost felt that way. But I have the advantage of perspective now. I've seen the light. I am no longer scared that that is the place that I am going to get stuck. I've been to what I percieve to be the top, and it wasn't that interesting. I just hope my approach will help Denise out, because I don't want her losing it. I also went to the football game last night. Got to play some tuba. My chops aren't what they used to be, but they still work. I swear, it took five years to get up to a high B-flat, and now, I haven't played regularly in more than three years, I can still get up to it, and on a sousaphone no less (not that this means anything to any of you). Kara Stermin was also there. I haven't seen her since we gradutated. It is just one of those things where you don't even realized that someone is missing until you see them again. No matter how introverted I was, and how much at the time I hated the way that my personal life was going, I always had something in high school. I always had a way to restore my self-confidence. That's something that has been severely lacking the last few months. And for Brianna; I tried four different numbers that I thought could be the number that Lori gave me. None of them worked. See, I finally did it. That brings me to another note, it's about all the girls over the years that I have had crushes on. I don't know if this is a typical guy thing, but I find myself having had feelings and building a girl up to such an extent that I find it hard to approach them. With Lori that was true, and it took me getting drunk to do anything about it. With others, it's not that easy. I had one of those experiences last night. I almost had the same feeling that I had the first time she left, and I spend multitudes amount of time explaining her behavior away, because I want so badly for some kind of sign. But it's not there,, and if any of them ever found out, I would be completely embarassed. It did happen once in high school. With Brenda. That was not of my doing though, and then it even took me a whole week to say anything to her. That was beyond anything that I think I ever experienced. Just as a note. There is no regret to any of this. This is me lucidly analyzing the last 36 hours. |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
Brianna | 08-30-05 1:02am Well, first off, I'm very impressed!! I can't believe you finally did it. :D Wow. I'm sorry none of them were right, but at least you tried and that is the important thing.
|
Brianna | Re:, 08-31-05 1:30am Oh yes. I remember now... we usually end up getting upset or arguing. Previous end question withdrawn. |
upchuck | Re: Re:, 08-31-05 10:32pm No, you usually get upset.
|