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goldie18 (profile) wrote,
on 11-28-2005 at 7:43pm
Current mood: crushed
Music: couting crows- long december
Subject: uhhh
Ant
in a word,
the whole universe would collapse
in a motion from my hand
let me release my anguish through a handful of dust
let me sprinkle it through my soul
leave the world
I said I wanna
leave the world
just let me vanquish this grief
it's got to be done away with
my angst has tormented my mind for too long

then again
maybe I overreacted
maybe I'm an ant in the universe
if I'm so little
is it better to be nothing
than have the world on your shoulders?

couldn't I leave this country?
what borders did I let this garden put upon my soul?
again
why can't I leave?
maybe a sailboat through the canal would be fun
it's the anxiety
but it's not from my heart
she's causing this anxiety
“Who is she?” Mama always says.
“Mama can't you see
she's right next to me” and I'm lamenting
all the same.
I hear it again,
“Who is she?”
This time from the skies.
God, was that you?
So what if I'm hallucinatory
we're all just ideas
we're all just figments of His imagination
we're all just ideas…
Mama, can't you see her?
-Jesse Mencow

--i need to write again, i was doing so much better when i wrote. i cany believe i did it again, stupid me. stupid stupid me.


slice after slice.
i need to bleed i tell myself
cut deeper
faster & harder
show no emotion as it opens
cut my skin apart
make sure it leaves a mark
open hearts are the same as open wounds
my scars they will forever be
i once again opened my heart too soon
and now im left cutting
more open wounds.
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