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Anytngbtordinary (profile) wrote,
on 12-2-2005 at 11:30am

So I feel like being creative but its hard because laziness is over-powering my creativeness. Damn.

I did start writing a new story in chem today though. I figured it was a better-much more entertaining use of my time. I've completely given up on chem...its a waste of time to even try to learn it. It can go fuck itself.

But yeah i've been thinking a lot about what I want/need. I realized that I don't like myself- nothing new there but that perhaps what i'm looking for relationship-wise is someone who can make me like myself.

I think its basically impossible. I've doubted everyone i've dated...in my mind they had no reason to like/love me, my explanation was just that they didnt know me or they didnt realize that they didnt really love me or what not. But then again that could just go back to me believing that I'm not worth being liked/loved...its quite the strange circle.

::shrugs:: I'm pretty calm today...those are just recent thoughts you know?

This is only in here because this journal (dear lord i almost spelled that "Gernal"!) is relatively safe...i think.

In other news, i'm getting sick :( My tummy hurts mucho...ever since yesterday and its not going away :(

In better news erm um...not sure.

I lose.

Heh.

Alright bye.

~Jackie
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