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freaky (profile) wrote,
on 3-22-2006 at 10:41pm
It is better to be just alone. Then you can't hurt people. You have to take less responsebility. You will get hurt less aswell. So why does everyone always moan about being alone when it has all these benefits? I did things that would make you hate me. As a guy. Becoming what you'd hate the most isn't fun. If I had any self esteem then its gone now. I'm just as low as any other maggot on this world now. Caught up in the things that humans do. And my only wish right now is that I wish I never did it. But why do these things happen. Why why why. They cant just happen without a reason. I feel so shit about it. What do I need to do now. Where do I take off from here. Do I make a descision and then maybe it might be the wrong one and I end up hurting someone again. Which descision I'll make it doesn't matter... I'll hurt at least one person. Never can I keep them all safe and happy. I got issues, thats a fact. Don't know what I can do about them. I just want everything to be alright again. I was happy the way it was. At least it was just me getting hurt then and not someone else. I deserve to be alone. I deserve to have pain. I deserve no one.
I deserve to live, without joy. A punishment awaits me cause something bad is gonna happen. I can feel that. What it is I don't know. I can only guess. And I don't like the idea. If I end myself, does it end the pain?
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