| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| Aaron (profile) wrote, on 7-27-2006 at 5:31pm | |
| Current mood: Accomplished Music: Kyo, Le Chemin (again, the whole album) Subject: "This is it; The moment you've ALL been waiting for..." |
|
| Today, I was getting paranoid about Jessica again. The most irrational thing I could possibly do, especially when I consider how we were talking about how much we liked each other and how uncannily compatible we are not eight hours earlier. I quickly realized my folly: I'm not full in. I've picked up the bat, I'm at the plate, the ball has been thrown. A curve ball. If I swing, I might miss. I might hit it. I've no way to tell other than what I know of my own abilities. I've not totally committed yet...I'm still afraid. Hence I get paranoid. I've decided I'm done being afraid. I'm ready to swing. I'll do everything within my power to get that ball out of the park. I'm leaving my old self behind. Look back through the pages of this journal. The boy you see thoughout most of it is now dead. I've let him die -nay, killed him- because he was not who I was meant to be I am something more...something better. I hope you can see that now. Ultimately, there are only two things holding my old self in reality. Our memories, which will fade and tarnish, and this journal, which I have the opportunity to destroy. I'm taking it. I've sent the website a request to have it deleted. I don't need anything on here anymore. I'm letting it all go... ...I'm swinging my bat. For God, for myself, for her. I don't know how long it will take...but it'll be soon. Later. |
|
| Post A Comment |
independenttruckergrl | 07-27-06 9:00pm alright. i know you dislike me. but i have to say one thing.
|
shroudofrain | 07-30-06 1:33pm I am so happy for you, Paul. I will pray for you. You are not the same, and you are better. You can do this. I am so glad you are swinging again. I have faith in you... and I know Jessica does as well. |
fallingflowers | 08-18-06 4:31pm Cool. |