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 | midnightdelight (profile) wrote, on 11-15-2006 at 7:22pm |
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my secret[s]
1) i use drugs so i don't cut myself.
2) i lost my virginity in this parking lot.  on a sofa we found on a dumpster the night before. we switched sofas after we realized that it smelled like urine. (i was even too drunk to walk on my own) the boy i was with was the proud owner of this mighty max.
3) somedays i get so upset when i get deep into thought. the only way i can stop myself from worrying is to smoke. i once smoked so much that i forgot my best friends name (while talking to my aunt).
4) while writing this, my best friend from 2nd grade called my home phone. 10 minutes later, a police officer called. she asked if i had remembered my best friend ever saying anything about her step father molesting her. she had. i wish i had said something earlier.
5) i haven't been sober at any funeral i've ever been to.
6) i hate every one of my friends because i secretly know theyre waiting for me to stop talking every time we have a discussion.
7) i stole $10 from my best friend once. (im sorry jes.)
8) i lie about almost every story i tell. my life isn't really all that interesting to begin with. (but i wouldn't tell a lie to woohu)
9) my birthday is approaching in 2 weeks.
here is the list of drugs that i will have taken by age 15:
a) marijuana
b) alcohol
c) aderall
d) vicodin
e) oxycoton
f) percoset
g) concerta
h) caffiene pills
i) salvia
j) cocaine
k) chronic
l) acid
m) shrooms
n) exstacy
and i'm certain i'm missing a few in this list.
10) i have over 75 scars on my body. i inflicted EVERY single one of them.
11) i'm obsessed with the female body. i check out almost every girl's ass that i encounter everyday. i'm nothing in comparison.
12) i've never had so many friends in my whole entire life. for once, i'm actually popular. [this means nothing, i've never felt so alone.]
13) i have sent nude pictures of myself to two guys over the internet. i fear that they may surface sooner or later.
14) the only reason why i write in this is because i feel vindicated for having my secrets out in the open, where anyone could find them. it makes me glad to know that someone will read this and realize they are human. [we all have secrets]
15) i fear i may have only been in love once (when i was 12) to a 16 year old that i dated for two weeks. ive never felt so strongly for someone else.
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