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| chorusnerd620 (profile) wrote, on 11-18-2006 at 8:44pm | |
| Music: How to Save a life- The Fray Subject: Life of course... |
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| Havent update in a while. I hate regretting things. I can honestly say i have never regretted anything in my point in life, until now that i've just discovered one. The Unforunate. The Unexpected in one's life. The description of upsetting nights ive had in two months cant compare to my whole lifetime. To when i got my first heartbreak, to my choice of coming out, to losing my friends, to being afraid of the future. (Which i still am). This cant compare to FINALLY getting the one i love, than having to leave her behind for my studies to persue a life for which we can both live in happiness without any concerns of an argumenative realionship. So our love would'nt end up with Cheating, lying nor Hatred of one another. But it seems my task of attempting a long distance relationship will end up with never finding out how what the future holds for us. My temper, my argumenative conversations, my act of jealousy can really hurt a person, annoy a person... unfortuantely it can mistakingly be towards the one i love. i do not intend for any if these actions i have an act of doing. I know it's my responsiblity to control it, to overcome it. BUt ive been dealing wtih this from the first time ive ever fallen in love. And unfortunately it ended in tradegy of cheating, lying, hating one another and an ending of a great friednship. It took almost 2 years to become friends again. i wish for this not to happen with my new love. I do try, it may not seem like it, but i cant help it. My act of failure has left me in tears, in my barely breathing weeping. An also comes to an conclusion every so often for you to be with someone who would treat you better than i. i should'nt blame this long distance for my act of jealousy, act of anger, sadness. Cause it was still there when i lived in Florida. It seems as if my attempt to try this realtionship further only deepens my brokenheart. But im willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish this difficult task. For i love this girl, i love everything about her, I KNOW my life ends with her. And trying to do wheatever to get ALL her hopes, ALL her dreams. i only wish i could treat her better, the way she's suppose to be treated. I dont wanna lose her, she's my everything. To see her, to hold her, hug her, kiss her, my wanting of her here can't happen. My views of her are only on occassions, sadly months at a time. I only wish i could turn back time, to not have made this regretful mistake. I can honestly say i have never regretted anything in my point in life, until now that i've just discovered one... | |
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Cherries | I'm Sorry, 11-19-06 9:04pm Hey Alyssa,
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