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caity_024 (profile) wrote,
on 8-5-2007 at 11:09pm
Alot's dad died on July 26. and that's all i plan on saying on that.....not that i don't care (please trust me on that)'s just that i haven't quite sorted out the litany of emotions coursing through my body and therefore do not feel the need to elaborate on a useless mess. It's screwed me up big time to say the least....and yet i feel like it hasn't affected me at all.

I've been trying to stay busy....which has helped a ton. That and not getting completely wasted. That has tended to bring on alcohol-induced breakdowns (thank god only at eric's, with few enough people that he could get me out of public and safe in his room). But I've been hanging out constantly with friends, and when i haven't been doing that, i've been cleaning, or planning stuff for school. The friends stuff has been amazing. Finally went out cliffjumping this summer....hahaha....for as much as i did it last summer, i figured i'd do it the same this summer....which hasn't been true. But we hiked out to dead river and jumped and swam around there for a few hours. :-) And there has been CONSTANT beaching and grilling. In the past three weeks, i think there are all of 2 days I wasn't at the beach. No exaggeration. I'm truly livin the life. I'm a certified beach bum, with a honed taste in steak and burgers...hahaha. :-D

I've gotten a TON of reading done this much that it's ridiculous. I don't even want to try to count the number of books i've read. It's out of control...i figure about 2 a week for nearly the whole summer. And I still have a stack to go through (thanks to eric's mom).

Eric's birthday was AMAZING....the only hitch being that i twisted my ankle pretty bad after i took him out to dinner....we were just goofing off walking out to the parking lot.....but that didn't hold me back TOO much. The weekend was INSANE....his friend Joe came up, so i spent the days at the beach and then nights drinking and partying and grilling. It was such a blast....and Eric really had a good time....even in light of it being the year anniversary of his grandpa's death. I didn't end up telling him about my dad until after the weekend was over....i didn't want to spoil his fun by having him worry about how i was doing.....which he of course was upset with me for doing.....but i expected that.

I'm completely overwhelmed right now with money. As usual. However, i think i'm just working myself up over nothing, because i have a bunch of money (think over 300 dollars) that i haven't even accounted for in my budget. I just like being on top of things....and i think with everything going on (they're going to reevaluate my financial aid....which will give me MORE money), i'm just stressed out. I really need to chill out about that.

I'm getting excited for school to start. I've got alot of hard classes and alot of responsibility this semester, but i can't wait! Me and eric are working on our schedules right now to see when we can get together and study at starbucks. We're planning on 2 nights a week....which seems like alot i guess.....but it's really not at all for the amount of work he has to do and the difficulty of the courses i'm taking. Plus I'm gonna be helping tricia with her one math class, and directing the mentoring program, which means meeting with students all the time and setting up events/budgets. I want to tackle it all though. I think i've finally gotten my head on straight with EVERYTHING. School, work, boys, friends, money...ish..., and studying. I guess we'll see how it goes...i think it will be easier this year living offcampus to get some stuff done. No distractions around every corner!

Alright...i NEED to go to bed...i hate that when i sleep alone, it takes me forever to fall asleep, especially when i've got so much on my mind. I'm thankful every day for the little things like hugs before bed and whispered conversations till we fall asleep. The little things in life truly add up to be all the big things.
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