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caity_024 (profile) wrote,
on 11-8-2007 at 11:55pm
Why do I get distracted so easily?? I had hours tonight to do homework, but i spent about a third of those hours reading....but i guess it's good for me. I'd rather be relaxed and a little stressed about homework, than have my homework done, but be all red-eyed and strung out.

Why is everything in life going so smoothly right now?? I'm half-expecting it all to just blow up in my face. And I don't think life gets better than this. Every time I really think about it, i'm just blown away. I have amazing friends......not really any back home anymore.....they never return calls, except maybe for kristen believe it or not. Bizarre turn of events there. But my friends up here rock my world. I don't know what i'd do without them. I'm in love with an amazing man who respects me and loves me back with the same intensity. I wish i could convey all my feelings about him into words. I hate that people still think down on him because of how much he used to drink. All of our friends know better.....but it makes me sad that the rest of the world doesn't see the guy we all see.
Next year scares me. Summer scares me. Hell, January scares me. It'll be a year. And I have to start looking for a place to live for May. Possibly with Eric. The thought excites and terrifies me. I'm scared of all the 'what-ifs'. Scared to trust in love. We've both approached it carefully, slowly. Looking into his eyes makes me happier than I've ever been. I think my dad would have loved him. My dad from we'll say the beginning of highschool. Would have loved his easy honesty and humor.

Complete change in topic, but I wish my dad would't have fought his failing health with anger. Then again i wish alot of things had been different. They weren't.

My head is a jumble of thoughts right now. Don't know why. It usually is though. I can never just focus in on one thing for very long. Plus, I'm probably afraid to talk about Eric for more than a few sentences.....I think i feel safer leaving those feeligns softly in my heart and whispered words to him. :-)

K......i'm gonna go try and sleep.
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