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|mysin (profile) wrote, |
on 2-16-2008 at 6:35pm
Subject: The Bleeding Wounds on my hands
|Sooooo.... What two years have passed since i said I wouldn't post on this site. Things have gotten worse... I have no idea of who I am anymore. I have lost touch with what made me feel strong. I left the city but...
I dont know what is worse, the fact that I am in no way who I used to be or the fact that I dont care. Any lingering belief of god has vanished. It is hell, I am in living hell. I CAN'T Talk to anybody else about what is going on. What has happened.
Years ago I wanted to die because I was a stupid whiney teenager. Now, I dont care what happens now, I just want to get out of this hell. I don't care if I die... I feel I have failed life before I even got a start.
Money is Evil. Money started this all.. I'm Drowning. I wish I could cry again. I wish I could drink.. drinking took me a million miles away from here. But I dont drink... I have the life of a fucking drug addict living on the streets and I dont even do drugs... Im just buried.
I dont know when I'll post again. I dont know if anyone even reads this anymore.
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I still read.
allan! *hugs* I'm so sorry I hope things get better!