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lillypad (profile) wrote,
on 2-16-2009 at 3:31pm
"I have an idea,
a story in my mind
of exactly how It should be
and exactly what you would say
if ever I should want to say It.
I have It arranged on my tongue-
every sound I want to pour out-

but then when I see you!
O, when I see you!
All those lovely intricacies,
the sounds I have perfected For You,
they scatter to the shadows of each corner,
chased into hiding by the butterflies
[the ones creating a storm in me???]
that suddenly come flying out in their place.

-You can't see them leaving me,
rushing up and spiraling down, encircling your every perfection.
And you can't see the ones that stay,
settled deep inside me,
whispering reminders with their wings.
Even if I could recapture those words
(before they fade into the dark walls, lost forever!)
I never wrote a script For You-
and you could never hope to find your own
with all these butterflies
coursing through the air between us-
and all my words
seeping slowly into the shadows.


But the sounds creep out of the corners,
slide off the walls,
traipsing lazily back into my mouth
-almost sauntering (so sure of themselves),
those wickedsweet words,
fusing with the butterflies.
-Then suddenly-
fluttering out on their backs,
clinging to be sure they don't break off,
lost forever.
They form into little shapes-
-"Hello. You're wonderful"-

It's then I notice there are far too many butterflies
to be mine alone.
And with all these butterflies swirling between us
I can hardly see you
so I pretend you're not here,.
and ask the butterflies instead-
"how do you feel?"
And then...
then the butterflies settle their wings,
fluttering gently now-
so I can see you through the soft glow of color-
and I can hear you through the delicate hum of excitement.
...and you are wonderful."

I wrote that 3 years ago and I just found it...I can admit, easily, it's only mediocre... but I wish I had anything remotely that beautiful inside my head these days.
I'm... hurt.
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