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|firestarterfox (profile) wrote, |
on 2-28-2009 at 3:17pm
|It's on lazy Saturday's like this that my brain really starts to think.
I think about Anna, about what she'll be like as she grows up, about how much she'll hate me when she's a teenager.
I think about Bryan, about whether he'll stick around or not, as bad as that sounds.
I think about me...
About how my life will be five ten years ahead of time.
About how I need to change myself
About what I need to do today and tomorrow and monday.
I think about how my life could have been also. If I had changed that, done this, not done that, stayed away from this person or that.
A barrage of possible outcomes always hits me with dizzying effects.
I could have a job, live in my own place, no baby, no boyfriend to drive me nuts. I could have a car....but then I hear Anna, learning to find her voice, laughing, or I see her smile and I think...maybe this is where I oughta be. I feel like it's where I oughta be. I like being here (For the most part).
Anyways, I found a car that I can get. It's a Bronco!!! Which is my second dream car. And they're only asking in the $900 range for it!! I can actually get a car, not even a car, a man-vehicle, with extra space for groceries, strollers, and baby!! Lol. Its awesome and I want it. And I'm getting enough on my taxes to get it. I just have to wait for that money to roll in....
Ok. Boob-feeding time.
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