| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| aaron (profile) wrote, on 9-17-2009 at 3:56pm | |
| I was there. I took the step, I bridged the gap. I'm still afraid, and I'm still dodging my best intentions, letting myself get away from myself. I know who I am. He's not just coming into view, but exploding into Technicolor. This is without system or method- I know that's hard for people to understand. Everyone feels abandoned by me, but it's not abandonment. It's just a newer (older?) me. And this is deep. A lot deeper than anything I've ever experienced. Quiet, calm, almost still- but the vibrancy is undeniable and inescapable. I've always been afraid I would lose it, but I think it's been chasing me all along. He's there, but he's very different than I expected. I expected either loud or quiet, fun or solemn. I expected him to fit. And it's ironic. What I realized was how bad I need people, and what I did was ignore all of them. I feel awful- but it's just begun. And she's right, haahaha. She's got us pegged. I wonder if they all accept that better than I realized? They don't protest. I never knew as much as I thought. But this is freedom, and I like it a little better. |
|
| Post A Comment |
redefinedgrace | 09-24-09 9:07pm Paaaaaauuuul!
|