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mudpiegrl (profile) wrote,
on 3-6-2010 at 7:17pm
Current mood: cynical
Music: Arcade Fire
Subject: wtf.
Here I am, fairly confident because all the normal signs are there; keeping an eye on my fb, unintentional compliments, long phone conversations ending with what sounds like a genuine "nice talking to you, as always".

But the trailing conversation regarding Napoleon's crush and what to do about her leading on kept me thinking all the time: what about my situation?

And so I asked the best friend of my object of affection if things look positively for me. Alas! He suggests they do not and he is merely appeasing me via the expected social niceties.

That sort of tears down any idea I had regarding an approach to the situation. Instead of positively, I feel I can only begin with questions whether it is only for politeness sake or if he truly enjoys conversing with me.

I'm in loop thought and can do nothing but lay down. There isn't any place for me anywhere but my bed and no focus behind my eyes to try to read or attend to a movie.

And despite how up in the air the opinion was (how credible is it if Napoleon hasn't spoken to Danny in some time, and certainly not about the same topic), I can't help but feel a shade of hopelessness and concern. There seems to be no place for me in the world as well as my house. What exactly am I doing?

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