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|arrivistemerkaba (profile) wrote, |
on 6-8-2011 at 3:29pm
|Current mood: contemplative
Subject: An uncommon dream.
|Usually I wouldn't mention this sort of thing in a public journal, but it was such a surreal experience that I couldn't help myself.
Last night I dreamed all night about the same thing. I was out in a moutain cabin, but the kind that you find around Idaho, not really lush or green and full of light dust and trees that are almost beached to the whiteness of salt.
Many people were there, but the ones that are still vivid in my head are Kelsey and Jon.
Mmmhmn, this is a Jon dream folks.
All through the dream Jon was mad at me and I was working my hardest to get him to forgive me, to kiss me, to tell me I haddn't messed up everything. When I thought about WHAT it was he was mad at me for it was all the things that JOE has used to define why he won't come back to me. The entire dream he would hug me and tell me we'd work it out but at the same time he would look at me with the same cold hatedred that I feel from Joe whenever I talk to him.
All throught the dream not much happened, it was a very realistic day in the life sort of line of events. People visited and talked, I played videogames and it was all the sort of thing that people wake up from and wonder why they are in a bed.
Through the dream I knew that Jon and Kelsey were together slightly in secret but in a public way. I hated it, and eventually I confronted Jon about it, I asked him if there was anything I could do to make him come back to me. He said no, and told me to get out, I wasn't allowed to live in his house anymore. As I packed things up sobbing it HIT ME.
It REALLY HIT ME.
This couldn't be Jon I was talking to. Jon is in jail right now, two counts of burglery. That was the second that I took control of the dream and I realized that it WAS a dream that it couldn't be happening
You see, for the past week or so Jon has been trying to set up a video conference with me through the Ada Jail, and I keep looking over it and being very displeased. I can't say that I didn't expect it, he is very easy to manipulate and his wife is pustule on the dick of society. I knew from the moment that he moved in with her that it would end up like this. I am however, very angry at him because I cannot fathom how someone could be so STUPID to get involved in that AGAIN. He hates Jail, he goes and does anything possible to get back out, so it is so pathetic that he would put himself into the situation again.
Back to the dream though, as I figured out that I was facing down with a fake Jon I moved to pack my things more quickly, I just wanted to leave the house and figure out what the left step would be. He followed me out the door and looked down at me, opening his mouth to tell me something. I didn't hear what it was he said, but I remember thinking "If this is not Jon, then who else would hurt me like this?"
I woke up after that, my throat screaming with pain. I have strep.
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