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|oceanchild (profile) wrote, |
on 11-10-2011 at 12:47am
|Nathan wrote me back last night to say that while he was willing to talk, he didn't want to be friends.
At first I was angry, oh so angry. But that burned off overnight, and today I'm just in a slump. I suppose I have to accept that I'm just not as important to him as I wish I were--maybe I never was. I feel like this is just one more situation in which he's running away rather than facing something difficult. When it counted, he was never really willing to take the initiative and fight for me. It's a painful realization and it makes me feel pretty worthless.
I don't know how to talk to him without being his friend. We know each other too well to just be acquaintances. And so I wrote him back to say, in essence, "Well, ball's in your court, then; have a nice life."
And now...I don't know where to go from here. I feel like three months ago I lost my boyfriend, and yesterday night I lost my best friend too. I'm getting progressively more alone as the months go by. And my horoscope for today read something like "The more connections you make, the harder it is to hang onto the meaningful ones. Your circle of friends may have expanded, but your circle of close friends may have decreased."
Thanks a lot, downer fortune.
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Thru the 4 breakups I've had, I find that staying friends after breaking up is nearly impossible, unless you wait for at least a year before trying it. I find that talking to my exes just brings up a lot of hurt and anger. It is losing the closest person you've ever had to your heart, but it's a risk of getting into that kind of relationship with someone.. I've lost all of my close friends in the past 6 years and now I have a few people I consider friends, but no one I would say are best friends or anything. I think it comes with getting older.. Which sucks.
Re: , 11-13-11 8:43pm
I think you actually have a lot in common with my ex. He has been doing some of the same things. Writing me, trying to explain his short comings, wanting to be closer. But for me, every time we've gotten closer - talked, messaged, even just wall posts, feelings came up that didn't need to. Either he mentioned how much he wanted me back or how much he hated me. And all of this caused so much... unneeded and unnecessary issues that I just haven't been able to keep him as an acquaintance, much less a friend. All of the distress and turmoil caused my now significant other lots of irritation and I have come to the decision that it would be better for all of us just not to talk to him anymore. Even though I still would like him to be in my life and often think of him and good times we've spent together.
Re: , 11-14-11 11:16am
I don't know. It sounds like your ex was just trying to get you back. I wasn't planning on doing that, and I've only contacted Nathan twice since we broke up--to tell him happy birthday and to see if he was interested in being friends again.
Re: Re: , 11-14-11 1:57pm
Sounds like kind of a jerk to me... without reason or explanation. Maybe you don't need someone in your life like that anyhow.