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srsbsnsrunner (profile) wrote,
on 9-28-2013 at 3:45pm
Subject: you're here. there. everywhere.
My psychologist basically told me I wasn't accepting help. Or that maybe I was and just wasn't ready to dive into the problems and face them like I should. I'm afraid of pain for some reason, even though I shouldn't be. Pain to me is something I should embrace and learn to grow from, not cower away from.
I am constantly afraid, constantly afraid to better myself. It's like I fear a better version of myself. I fear that I'll be leaving my family behind and not be my mother's or father's daughter. But that's okay right? I don't have to keep on with family traditions. I can be my own person.
There's always this push and pull within myself, like I want to make myself better but I want to do it tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes though so I'll never be a better person unless I start now, now now now.
Why is this so hard??
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