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|srsbsnsrunner (profile) wrote, |
on 7-13-2014 at 7:40pm
|Subject: hey jealously.
|So every Sunday, I reflect back on the week and get mad at myself because I never feel like I tried hard enough. I never got enough done, never accomplished enough of my training, didn't work enough hours, didn't run enough errands, etc.
I always feel like I need to try harder to be better, to be busier, to do more. But then I realize something, for the boat I'm in, I'm already plenty busy.
First of all, I don't have a car. I have to get everywhere by either walking, taking the bus or getting rides from other people. Almost every morning, I walk 1.5 miles to the gym, I ride the bus to work, I ride my bike places, I walk every Sunday the mile to the grocery store and carry all my groceries the mile home.
That all adds up. So it's not like I'm not doing anything because I am. It just takes up a lot of my time. For instance, this morning it took me an hour and a half to grocery shop/carry everything home because I was so exhausted.
Second, I currently have a broken foot. Well not totally broken but a stress fracture, and not a wussy stress fracture either. There's actually a crack there, or so the MRI showed. So walking places takes longer because I'm in this stupid boot. Carrying things is more difficult because I have to stop whenever I feel a sharp pain in my foot and rest a bit. Every difficulty I already face is now 200% harder. My body is trying to heal, trying to repair and I can't just stop because I won't survive.
Third, work outs, do I get enough of them in? Are they intense enough? I'm a potential PT so I should know better than to expect myself to go intensely every damn day. But I feel like I need too, to make up for the fact that I'm injured. Which is counter-productive because I need the rest to heal.
I went to the gym twice last week, hit the pool once, got on my bike once and did boot camp today. That seems like a lot.
Fourth, do I work enough? Can I put more time in? I worked 43 hours this past week. Which doesn't seem like a lot but it's over the normal 40.
I just need to sit down and realize that for where I am, with what I have, I'm doing just fine.
Not many people would be able to keep going and doing everything with a broken foot.
I just want to be better, I want to get a workout schedule going, I want this that and the other thing. I want to be able to start running once the boot is off so I can be ready for the NYC marathon.
I work really hard and sometimes I don't give myself enough credit. And so here I am. Giving myself credit because dammit, I deserve it.
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..., 07-14-14 2:42am
Dang! It wore me out just reading your entry.