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catatonicsean (profile) wrote,
on 2-11-2015 at 7:26am
Current mood: blah
Music: Cryptic Slaughter - Lowlife
Three hours of sleep in the past two days, must be at work in four hours.

I'm slowly becoming non-corporeal.

Very sad that I never see my friends, and there are few people in the real world I can talk to. Also bummed that I didn't make a bigger impression on my environment when I was younger, and had more opportunity to do so. I was never interesting, and now I never will be.

Life is work, home, repeat. I need action, or I get wilty. I bought a shillelagh because I figured I would eventually tire of everything and go beserk on some hapless fool that rubbed me the wrong way, but I doubt that particular fortune is in the cards. Far too reasonable to be that much of a prick; however, there are candidates a-plenty that roam my new neighborhood.

I imagined that life would be sex and violence and drinking until I died in my early twenties, but now I'm old and wizened and responsible for things that adults tend to be responsible for, and it's too late for dickish behavior of that sort. People who fall into the persuasion of loon-with-a-death-wish don't know how lucky they are. Never a dull moment.
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02-11-15 12:33pm

Also that lifestyle, most likely, never finding security in another's love. Or living past a certain age, which I guess is the idea: to never see your death coming in wrinkle-form. It's very interesting to see your want for sex and violence that most certainly was brought on by the expectations of society for young men. I have been influenced as well by the search for forever love that most likely doesn't exist.

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Re: , 02-13-15 12:04am

Love is out there, and finding it is part of the crap-shoot of life.

Society's influence? Perhaps; mostly local culture.

If you ever set foot in Florida, be aware of all the senior citizens, and, too, will be afraid beyond reason.

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