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losrnancr (profile) wrote,
on 12-24-2016 at 1:10am
Current mood: cynical
Music: she and him - christmas party (album)
i just feel like christmas has lost it's luster.

it feels like a check list.

in 2016, with the state of the world, the country, etc.

something has to change, we are all on this hamster wheel and just totally miserable with the daily weekly and now yearly grind. soon to be decades.

i feel like i could be on the verge of greatness at times, but who knows maybe i'm just another ego. - on that note, i always think like "oh this exgirlfriend is talking to me again" or whatever, and assume like i'm some special ex boyfriend to them - not in a romantic way, just in a maybe i change their life in some memorable way more than the person before or after me, so maybe those years or months spent with me weren't a total waste of time.

totally just a waste of time. fully.

i am genuinely afraid of the direction everything is headed and i hope more people open their eyeballs soon enough. money cannot keep controlling the entire world. we know it always has in the past, but not like this, not this bad, the middle ground of the american dream was at least achievable and you could at least lie to yourself get by with that, but it's just so obvious. our freedoms are being stripped as i write this and people are literally choosing to remain oblivious or say things like "oh well i don't do XYZ so who cares! it's doesn't matter to me personally! so lets just fuck over everyone else because i'm a self centered fuck of a person!"

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