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steppingstones (profile) wrote,
on 5-28-2018 at 6:28pm
Current mood: reflective
Music: Game of Thrones
Subject: clarity and colors
Today the colors were brighter. Before I went home, I noticed when I was leaving his. I woke up today feeling pretty great. Actually desiring to get up. Slept about 10 hours. 8 or 9 the night before. A rage. And 12 hours the night before.

I need sleep. I need to accept that. At least right now I do. Not especially because I'm sick. But this job has run me dry. And yes, I let it do it to me. I didn't know I could have boundaries. I didn't know how to set the boundaries. I don't know.

Today I got up and made coffee. I loved binging Steven Universe with him. And interspersed I spearheaded doing his laundry and made lunch. I wanted his laundry to be ready for her bonding project.

But I think the colors were brighter because of the rage. I found a good combination of factors. And I got to be me for a while. I let go a lot. And I just 'was.' I always forget what it feels like. It drifts away so slowly that I don't particularly notice.

I think I let go of so much that my brain was able to process more fine detail of my surroundings. It was able to instantly plan out things. Intuit. Just take things in.

I have to work out the concepts of the rage.
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